A Therapist Showing Up As Herself
“You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, and the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, breath of the fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner.
You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and the colors fill your mind until there is nothing left to do but explode, There are no wrong answers . Inspiration is everything. Sit back, relax, and take it all in.”
- Jac Vanek
Traditionally, in Western psychotherapy, therapists have been encouraged to keep the self out of the room, focus only on the “patient”. This shows up in language: the patient and the therapist; it shows up in physical positioning: at one time, the therapist would literally sit behind the client, the client laying on a couch facing away. It showed up in the ways practitioners talked about their clients: sometimes using diagnostic language. And if the client questioned the therapist would be thought of deflecting, digressing, projecting or avoiding.
Where there was something "wrong with" the patient but the therapist knew how to excavate or to “fix” it. This shows up in saviorism, enlightenment language, medicalization, it shows up in hierarchal structures. Us and them. Us (the therapists) being the all knowing, the expert, the one who has it all together, and who has all the answers.
However, pretending I have it all together, or that I don’t struggle with the same things that others do only adds to the pressures of perfectionism that is rampant in our culture. I am not perfect. I am human. Asking me to keep separate myself from my practice is like asking me to hold my breath while I'm running. I can't do it for long.
(**side note: I am very mindful about how much and how often I am sharing personal stories in session, and use them only if I think they may be helpful or have therapeutic value).
I am a combination of my life experiences and the things that I’ve studied. I am my values and my biases. I am my parents daughter. I am the descendent of my ancestors. I am a combination of all that I’ve loved. I am the jobs that I’ve had. The books that I’ve read and the festivals that I’ve been to. I am the land that I grew up on. And so are you.
When work together, we will both bring in all of these things and sometimes there is a beautiful transformation that happens when all the factors combine and we share in these moments of connection and healing together. Sometimes these connections last a short while, sometimes they last years. All of these connections stay with me and they last a lifetime.
When you come to see me, I will welcome all of you, and I will share with you parts of me. And when you return back to the world, I will encourage you to bring all of you, or ask what pieces can be left behind. and I will welcome you to bring pieces of me.
With love,
Chantelle
